Tweet Templates

Having trouble getting started with Twitter?  Use these boilerplates to promote your personal brand, 140 characters at at time.  Simply fill in the fields marked [*********] with your own unique content.  In general, your tweets should follow the standard cadence, which is [Long].[Short].  A generic tweet should have the following form:

[Use approximately 120/140 characters to describe a mundane person/event/situation].[Use remaining characters in 1 to 5 words to provide your insightful evaluation of said person/event/situation].

If you get bored with the standard form and want to impress your followers with creative tweets, try the following templates:

The Open Tweet

Dear [diffuse/abstract entity], Please [state what the diffuse/abstract entity ought to do (if it could) to make your life easier].  Thanks!

The Endorsement Tweet

Hanging out with @[person with whom it reflects well on you for hanging out] at [location of this phenomenal get-together].[Positive qualitative evaluation of said person in 2-5 words].


[Short description of a mundane person/event/situation].[part 1 of 3 (1 word) of an incomplete sentence serving to mask the banality of said person/event/situation by emphasis].[part 2 of 3 (1 word) of incomplete sentence].[part 3 of 3 (1 word, usually “ever”) of incomplete sentence].

Published Title Tweet

Preparing to [“preach” or “teach” or “speak”]: “[Brilliant and pithy, if wordy, sermon title that if not referenced here, would otherwise fail to get the requisite attention or acclamation]” ([sermon text]).

Utopian Tweet

[Describe your current, perceived idyllic situation in <104 characters.  Possible word choice includes: “snuggle” ; “fire” ; “curled up” ; “granddaughter” ; etc.]. It doesn’t get [choose between “much” or “any” depending on your level of confidence] better than this!*

*alternative: In lieu of last sentence, especially if short on characters, reference the #itdoesntgetanybetterthanthis hashtag, or some variant.  For an alternative form, see below.

Utopian Equation Tweet*

[element A in your current perceived idyllic situation] + [element B in your current perceived idyllic situation] = [idyllic situation]

* The equation template can be used as a creative alternative to any mundane sentence with one or more coordinating conjunctions and a “to be” verb

Hashtag Punchline Tweet

[Short description of a mundane person/event/situation]. #[create a hashtag and dedicate its one and only use to serve as a punchline to your description of said person/event/situation].



One response

  1. best. post. ever.

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