Having trouble getting started with Twitter? Use these boilerplates to promote your personal brand, 140 characters at at time. Simply fill in the fields marked [*********] with your own unique content. In general, your tweets should follow the standard cadence, which is [Long].[Short]. A generic tweet should have the following form:
[Use approximately 120/140 characters to describe a mundane person/event/situation].[Use remaining characters in 1 to 5 words to provide your insightful evaluation of said person/event/situation].
If you get bored with the standard form and want to impress your followers with creative tweets, try the following templates:
The Open Tweet
Dear [diffuse/abstract entity], Please [state what the diffuse/abstract entity ought to do (if it could) to make your life easier]. Thanks!
The Endorsement Tweet
Hanging out with @[person with whom it reflects well on you for hanging out] at [location of this phenomenal get-together].[Positive qualitative evaluation of said person in 2-5 words].
[Short description of a mundane person/event/situation].[part 1 of 3 (1 word) of an incomplete sentence serving to mask the banality of said person/event/situation by emphasis].[part 2 of 3 (1 word) of incomplete sentence].[part 3 of 3 (1 word, usually “ever”) of incomplete sentence].
Published Title Tweet
Preparing to [“preach” or “teach” or “speak”]: “[Brilliant and pithy, if wordy, sermon title that if not referenced here, would otherwise fail to get the requisite attention or acclamation]” ([sermon text]).
[Describe your current, perceived idyllic situation in <104 characters. Possible word choice includes: “snuggle” ; “fire” ; “curled up” ; “granddaughter” ; etc.]. It doesn’t get [choose between “much” or “any” depending on your level of confidence] better than this!*
*alternative: In lieu of last sentence, especially if short on characters, reference the #itdoesntgetanybetterthanthis hashtag, or some variant. For an alternative form, see below.
Utopian Equation Tweet*
[element A in your current perceived idyllic situation] + [element B in your current perceived idyllic situation] = [idyllic situation]
* The equation template can be used as a creative alternative to any mundane sentence with one or more coordinating conjunctions and a “to be” verb
Hashtag Punchline Tweet
[Short description of a mundane person/event/situation]. #[create a hashtag and dedicate its one and only use to serve as a punchline to your description of said person/event/situation].